In many conversations about fertility, the male figure appears in the background. Not because it doesn’t matter, but because historically attention has been focused on women’s bodies, their treatments, their hormonal changes and their biological times. However, more and more men want to be an active part of the process, not only from accompaniment, but also from understanding. They are 50% of the matter. They want to learn, to know what happens, how it works, how to help. But they do so cautiously, in silence, with the fear of not being well or not knowing if their presence will be useful or well received.
That genuine intention to be present is sometimes held back by a lack of information or by cultural models that have taught them to stay out of it. However, in treatments such as assisted reproduction – and especially when IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) is reached – the emotional, physical and logistical support of the couple can make a significant difference for both and for the process.
Being part of it does not mean having all the answers, but being willing to learn, to ask questions without fear and to be close in a real and respectful way. Here are some ways in which a man can become more deeply involved in an assisted reproduction process.
Understanding what IVF is and how the treatment works
It’s not about becoming an expert, but about understanding in simple terms what IVF entails: from initial examinations to ovarian stimulation, follicular puncture and embryo transfer. When a man understands these steps, he can anticipate the most sensitive moments of treatment and offer more conscious support.
In addition, knowing the process allows you to have more empathetic conversations and avoid phrases that, although well-intentioned, can feel distant or empty. Sometimes, the simple fact of knowing when an important appointment is approaching or what side effects may occur with the medication, is already a gesture of profound accompaniment.
Take charge of your own medical and emotional process
In IVF, the focus is usually on the woman, but it is also important for the man to undergo his own studies, such as spermogram and other male fertility tests. Participating from the clinical perspective not only adds relevant information for treatment, but also conveys a clear message: this is also shared responsibility.
On the other hand, it is not always easy for a man to express how he experiences this process. Uncertainty, pressure to “be strong,” or a sense of not being able to control outcomes can lead to anxiety or frustration. Accepting emotional or psychological support or having spaces where you can talk openly is also part of getting involved.
Actively participate in appointments and decision-making
Although many clinical decisions are made by the medical team, there are aspects that are discussed as a couple. Attending appointments, asking questions, expressing doubts or concerns, is a concrete way to show commitment. Women should not be the only ones carrying the burden of medical information or making difficult decisions alone. They should always be taken as a couple.
There are men who accompany the ultrasounds, who review the reports together, who help organize the dates of the treatment. These actions do not require technical knowledge, but they do require a present, available and aware attitude of what you are going through.
Being an emotional support without having to have all the answers
Sometimes, the greatest support comes not from words but from presence. Listening without interrupting, validating what the other person feels, being there when the mood drops or when hormones intensify emotions… that is also getting involved.
You don’t need to have solutions for everything. The simple willingness to be there, to offer an unexplained hug or to prepare a meal when the other person has no energy, can be an invaluable form of accompaniment.
Be open to building a new form of parenting from the beginning
Getting involved in an assisted reproduction process is not just about accompanying your partner. It is, in the end, beginning to build a different way of being a parent: one that is born from consciousness, from information and from presence. Although fatherhood has not begun biologically, it is already brewing from the intention and connection with that new being.
When men actively participate, an early connection is established with the desire to form a family, with the emotional journey that this implies and with the decisions that must be made along the way.
The role of men in assisted reproduction is not limited to a semen sample or to accompany from a distance. Today, many want to be a real part of it, even if they don’t always know how. And it’s okay not to know. The important thing is to be willing to learn, to ask questions and to walk together, step by step, without pressure but with intention. At Fertivida, we recognize the value of that masculine presence that, although often silent, is full of meaning. That is why we accompany each couple from a comprehensive perspective, where each one has a place, a role and a voice that deserves to be heard.
